Monday, March 20, 2006

Sex and Politics

According to today's Ottawa Sun, the big news story hitting the country this fine day is a new 'report' released by the Sex Professionals of Canada, or SPOC for short. They've rated each political leader as to how they think they perform behind closed doors.

So the final rankings come down like this (and I can't believe I'm actually going to type this out):

Former PM Paul Martin: Hot in the bedroom

Prime Minister Stephen Harper: a 'dirty boy' looking for something a little kinkier in the bedroom

NDP leader Jack Layton: a little narcissistic

Former PM Kim Campbell: Truly good in bed

Liberal leader hopeful Belinda Stronach: demanding and boring like an amateur dominatrix

Alberta Premier Ralph Kliein: prefers masturbating (hey don't blame me, I just type 'em as I see 'em)

Former Ontario Premier Mike Harris: a little selfish

Current Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty: lacking 'follow through'

So there you have it, that's how the professionals call it but I don't know about the first one. I would have called it more alone the lines of promising big things but once he gets called to perform, just lies there; not that I can say I've ever thought of Paul Martin's sex life before.

Excuse me while I go wash my brain out with soap.

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